my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
