Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize