just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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