I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
