The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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