At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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