Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just gift wrapped bread.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
