she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
