Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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