He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
