they need to just BURY HIM!
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
