spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
We are all done wearing pants today
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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