i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
