I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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