One girl and one boy is just not enough.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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