Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
