you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize