Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
