He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
You smell like stripper and shame
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize