We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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