Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
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