And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
