Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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