I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
