mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I'm always down for nudity.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
