And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
My Sexting was not on an AP level
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
