I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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