We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
