he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Is Oprah even human
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
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