maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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