Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
