so explain again why im purple
no
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I can't turn off my feet"
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
