So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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