I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
