is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
