it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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