I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
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