idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
