There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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