Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
