we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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