Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
