He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize