you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
