I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
