Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
