I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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