Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
