these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
