ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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