"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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