Who wears a wallet chain?!
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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