the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
