friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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