would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
