jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
operation harelip BJ is a go
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
