i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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