i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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