She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
