I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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