are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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