Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
