no, he came in my armpit
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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