i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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