I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
